Most people have family, friends or acquaintances throughout their lifetime. What really constitutes a 'true' friendship? Here I am, at twenty-two years old and find myself wondering this question a lot lately. Sure, I have my best friend in the entire world; she lives in Charlotte. We talk daily but it's not the same as face-to-face.
I refer to Wilmington, N.C. as "Never-Never Land". I say this because no one here wants to grow up. You go to a bar and some creepy sixty-two year old is hitting on you and trying to buy you drinks...no thank you! I consider myself a very friendly, outgoing and easily approachable person; however, sometimes just being a 'socialite' doesn't always cut it. Have you ever questioned who your true friends are in this town? How many of them could you call at three o'clock in the morning, expect forgiveness from outrageous drunken nights or even just expect a shoulder to cry on and vent too?
I recently dated someone older than me who I still consider a good friend of mine. I started to notice a distance between us that crept up whenever we were hanging out with certain individuals that he was previously friends with. It was a constant "he said/she said" banter and all I walked away with was hurt feelings. I mean, these people are three to four years older than me. I'm not using that as an excuse; I have definitely had my not-so-charming moments but I can honestly say that I try to learn from my mistakes. I can also say that I try my best to be a 'true' friend. Even to people who have treated me badly in the past, I try to look at every situation by being forgiving and moving on from the past.
I try not to dwell on bad past memories but sometimes that is a challenge for me. I reiterate these thoughts constantly; trying to see how I could have or even should have acted. What could I have done in certain situations to walk away with dignity and respect? Then I start to judge myself, which I have come to the conclusion is absurd. I am me, I know what I want out of life, I have goals and am extremely motivated. Just because I don't have a boyfriend, husband or random hook-up partner; I have my true friends. It takes a lot of heart and respect to uphold worthwhile friendships but those who are deserving will except you with open arms.
I totally understand what you mean when you call Wilmington Never-Never-Land, because it's totally true. Everyone here wants to be young forever and live the life of a true beach bum. Being from a relatively small town I know how it feels to long for that connection with a close knit group of friends but keep your chin up I bet you have true friends where ever you go.
ReplyDeleteI love your description of Wilmington...I see this too. Since I moved to the beach I have noticed the many 50 year old men and women who are day drinking at the beach bars and walking around hammered like college students. It's like people think that they don't have to mature if they stay here after graduation. It has created that kind of atmosphere.
ReplyDeleteToday my roommate and I went on a bike ride and decided to stop and eat at Jerri Allens. When we were paying for our food at the register this 50 something year old man was hitting on me like crazy and he was clearly plastered. He started referring to song lyrics and then told me I looked young enough to be his daughter (making it even more awkward)..it was weird because I see a lot of his kind around the beach. It's just funny to me because what you're saying is totally true here.
Lydia, your explanation of Wilmington hits the nail on the head. It is actually part of the reason I moved. I came to UNCW thinking I would make lots of new friends, but there were only a few people I could really count on. That is true in general, but Wilmington is such a transient town and people are always coming and going. It's hard to find loyal friends these days. Ever since high school, I've never found friends that were quite like the ones I used to know. A good portion of my friends left for college after high school, changed, and got mad at me for deciding to stay at community college because of financial reasons. Ridiculous right? These are people I was best friends with for four years. I just think it's funny how quickly people are to turn on you. I try to be the best friend I can be and am extremely loyal. It is really hard for me to trust people as even the people I trusted the most have walked out. There are only a few select people that I will still be friends with no matter how long we are apart or how tough things get. Those are the friends worth having.
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